I said, "Yes!"

I've always hated New Year's Eve.

There's so much pressure to do something big, something expensive & when I was single, the pressure to have a date was worse than Valentine's Day. Every year I would stress about whose party to go to, what bar to be seen at, what I would wear. And as much thought as I put into the evening, you would think I always had a great time... but really, I didn't.

New Year's Eve 2006 was the first that I had ever spent alone and there was something incredibly empowering about it. I had just closed on my first house & New Year's Eve was Moving Day. I was exhausted by the packing/moving/unpacking/etc. and I just really wasn't up to making the effort. So, I didn't. I spent the evening on my brand new couch in my brand new house with my trusty old dog. The pizza delivery guy flirted with me when he delivered my dinner. I put on my pajamas and was in bed hours before midnight. It was the best New Year's Eve I'd ever had, up to that point.

A week later, I met the man who would become my husband. Everyone said that when I bought the house on my own, I would meet the man I would marry. They were right.

Nearly twelve months after we met, we planned a trip Asheville to wind down after the holidays. We planned a really nice dinner for New Year's Eve 2007 and as we were walking into the restaurant, Rob wanted to take my picture. I obliged:

We walked in, sat down and ordered a bottle of wine. The next thing I knew, a waiter came around the corner with a large bouquet of red roses and gave them to me, then walked away. Blushing & flustered, I opened the card-- it said, "I love you. Rob." I looked at him and said something like, "Awww, thank you, honey! You didn't have to do that!"

He looked at me and said, "You're welcome. I'm getting ready to do something else."

::my heart stopped::

Everything was a complete blur as he got down on his knee and said something beautiful about wanting to get married, wanting me to be his wife, wanting to have children together. (He had to repeat it all later-- I think I was just in shock.) He told me he loved me and then said, "Will you marry me?"

I said, "Yes!"

We hugged, kissed, cried and then he said, "Would you like to see your ring?" (He had set it on the edge of the table when he got down on one knee.) He opened the box...

He slid it on my finger...

(It looks so lonely now without my wedding band!)

I couldn't stop staring. Rob knew the style of ring that I wanted-- we had talked in the months before about it being important to me to have a ring similar to my mom's. My mom and I have the same birthday & our birth stone is a sapphire. My mom's ring is platinum with a princess cut diamond and sapphire baguettes. This ring is a perfect compliment and I was so overwhelmed I could barely speak.

I remember being so stunned and speechless that I didn't eat a single bite of the amazing dinner we ordered. I just couldn't believe this had happened. His proposal didn't come out of nowhere-- we had talked about getting married and he had asked me about rings, but I still just couldn't believe that the moment I had dreamed of forever was finally here.

(Photo from Stephanie Wallace Photopgraphy)

After dinner, we had planned to do a candlight tour of The Biltmore Estate. The only thing I remember about that beautifully decorated house was staring at my left hand in every single room. The lights on all of the Christmas trees made my ring sparkle. I was mesmorized.

Needless to say, 2007 quickly replaced 2006 as my best New Year's Eve ever.

Last year, we went out for a romantic dinner on New Year's Eve, but came home early-- we had a very early flight to New England on New Year's Day to visit Rob's family. This year, we had hoped to take a trip back to Asheville to celebrate the two year anniversary of our engagement, but it didn't work out. Now, with all of the house drama going on, I don't really feel like spending a lot of money. In fact, we'll probably just stay in, cook dinner and have a nice bottle of wine while we watch the ball drop. I'm fine with that. I don't want to go out-- I'm starting to think I like staying home even more.

It may not be fancy, but on the eve of 2010, Rob has challenged me to a Guitar Hero Battle.

I said, "Yes!"

(Rob and I, in the exact spot where we got engaged-- 10 months later on our honeymoon.)

Confirmed

Definitely O'd.

I didn't have any fertile signs, but that temp shift is pretty clear.

It's easy to be disappointed that our timing wasn't perfect (like last cycle), but I'm trying not to dwell on that. There have been plenty of cycles where our timing was perfect and it didn't happen for us. So, who's to say that we might not get lucky when we least expect it?

I'm not going to visit Dr. RE for the progesterone shot unless I haven't gotten my period by CD43-- there doesn't seem to be much point. My typical LP seems to be about 15 days so I think that getting the shot might actually delay my period instead if bringing it quicker.

I still believe that our real chance to get pregnant will come when I'm ovulating earlier-- So, I'll call Dr. RE when AF comes so that I'll know if I should start the next round of Clomid on CD2 like last cycle. (She's already phoned in the prescription for me.) I'd also like to get an ultrasound done on either CD2 or CD3 to ensure that my lining is ok and I'm free of cysts as we go into the next cycle. My doc does not do much monitoring on the first few cycles of Clomid, but is open to performing any monitoring I want. I think that it's important, especially when I know women who have developed cysts and thin lining after 50 mg of Clomid like Egg did.

In other news, I should have an update about our house tomorrow. We had someone come over yesterday to measure the moisture in the basement, the walls and floor around the bathroom. It's really bad-- as in, they will probably have to rip out the entire bathroom (the tub, toilet, sink, floor, walls) to repair all of the water damage. The insurance adjuster comes tomorrow between 9-11am to assess our situation. From there, we'll find out how much money we'll get from the insurance company to fix all of the problems. My worst fear is that we won't get enough money to fix everything that is damaged. The best case scenario I can think of, is that we'll have enough money to fix the damage to the walls and floor, be able to put down the new tile we want (tile will have to be replaced if they rip of the floor), possibly tile the wall inside the tub and replace the sink. We'll see...

I'll update when I know something tomorrow!

Maybe, Maybe Not...

Temps were up again this morning-- FF thinks I ovulated & I'm starting to agree.

Still a bit hard to tell, though... We're having a hard time getting a comfortable temperature in our house & last night it was unbelievably hot in here (we seem to be either freezing or sweltering!). Could be the cause of the high temps the past few days. Temps were normal while we were at my parents house for the holidays, but have been high every morning we've been back home. So maybe it's the temps in the house?

-Or-

Maybe I actually ovulated on Saturday.

Doesn't really matter, don't really care. Even if I did ovulate, our timing couldn't have been worse so there's practically zero chance I'm pregnant this cycle.

Here's the positive part-- If I did ovulate, it was on CD28. Dr. RE prefers that I ovulate no later than CD21 so that my eggs and lining are optimal, so I still need to be ovulating a little earlier, BUT CD28 is a HUGE improvement over my past few cycles which have been between CD40-45. It makes me hopeful that 100mg of Clomid might be enough to push me into an acceptable range. I'm just ready to move on to the next cycle & try again!

Paging Dr. Google

With Christmas behind us and a week of vacation ahead of me, I have plenty of time this week to lounge in bed with my computer, catching up on e-mails, blogs and message boards. Unfortunately, I am also left with ample time to research the cause of our barren-ness. Which brings me to my latest Google obsession:

Endometriosis.

I was reading the Infertility message board on The Bump last night and skimmed a few posts about it. It's not something that I've ever really thought about... But last night I started reading some sites and studies and I was kind of surprised at what I found:

1) There is a connection between IBS and Endo. See here.
2) There is a connection between Interstitial Cystitis (IC) and Endo. See here.
3) There is a connection between migraines and Endo. See here.

Why does this cause me to raise an eyebrow? I've been diagnosed with IBS, IC & migraines.

Could this be pure coincidence? Absolutely. But, could there be a connection? Sure.

We have already decided to go ahead and do the HSG next cycle, but now I'm wondering if I should be challenging Dr. RE to consider a laparoscopy (they can do the HSG at the same time) to rule out endo. I don't really know anything about endometriosis, other than I have some of the symptoms and conditions associated with it, but that certainly doesn't mean that I have it. It's not something that Dr. RE and I talked about at my first appointment. I know that a lap is much more invasive than an HSG, and I certainly would dread the surgery-- but it's something to discuss.

Here's a CD30 chart update:

I wish I could say that the temp rise was me ovulating (better late than never) but I think it's just us cranking up the heat on these cold nights. None of my other fertility signs are remotely, well, fertile. I'm going to call Dr. RE's office tomorrow to ask if I can come in on Friday for the progesterone shot. I've taken progesterone pills before but I've never had the shot before--Does anyone know if it brings AF faster than the pills?

Home

We love our home.

When we got married, we started talking about buying our first house-- My parents and I had bought a house together in Charleston, and Rob moved in a few months after we started dating, but I think that he always felt like it was "my" house instead of "our" house. When we moved to Birmingham, we rented a cute house in a an adorable conservative family-friendly neighborhood. We really loved the location, but the neighborhood never really felt like us, and the house didn't seem like ours.

In Fall 2008 we started casually looking at houses. We had a general budget in mind, but we didn't really know what we'd be approved for. We spent lots of weekends winding around the streets of our rental neighborhood (houses were too small and too expensive) then finally branched out to a new area of town, one that was labeled as "up & coming" (ie liberal and diverse). You know this kind of neighborhood-- where one street is fantastic and the next you don't even want to drive down, much less live on.

One Sunday, we turned on to 6th Court South, and it was love at first sight. 5636 was having an Open House that afternoon and we were able to walk through the front door minutes after seeing it for the first time. Rob and I had agreed at the beginning of our house hunting journey that we wanted an older home-- we just knew that newer neighborhoods (as nice as they are) where every 5th house looks the same was not for us. This 1920's Craftsman Style Bungalow was a perfect fit for us. Sure, we gave up some of the convenient features of a new home (like a large master suite and brand new kitchen) but we gained character in original hardwood floors, a sweeping front porch with terracotta tile and a beautiful cast iron pedestal tub. Within three weeks of seeing the house we had made an offer & had signed a contract.

Over the past year, we've developed a love/hate relationship with owning a house. We love that we've been able to make it our own-- that any change we feel like making we can, and that any sweat equity is in a place that is truly ours. But when something breaks? We really miss having a landlord.

Issue #1: Leaky toilet. Our hall bath has an old toilet in it and when I say old, I don't mean 1970-- I mean like 1920's old. The tank attaches to the wall, and the bowl attaches to the tank with a pipe, similar to this. We started noticing that the floor was wet behind the toilet, so we had to call a plumber to fix the leak. Pretty Simple. Thanks Home Warranty!

Issue #2: Air Conditioner. In the hottest part of August (Close to 100 degrees and as we live in the South, the humidity was out of control), we noticed that the house was really stuffy. When really stuffy turned into sweltering hot, we called someone to come look at it. First they thought it was an electrical problem with the thermostat, then a problem with the unit outside, but neither fixed the problem. After three weeks of misery, our entire furnace (which was over 20 years old) was replaced. I don't think we'll ever forget both of us huddled in our (small) bedroom for weeks because we bought a window unit and it was the only room cool enough that we could stand to be in. It was a rough few weeks.

Since then, things have gone smoothly but as any homeowner knows, the list of To Do's never ends. We'd like to add some custom book shelves on either side of the fireplace that I think may have been there at one point-- it's a pretty standard detail on houses built like ours. We want to pull up the carpet in our bedroom (the only bedroom in the house with carpet) and refinish the hardwood floors underneath. We want to install a shower in that pedestal tub to make it a little more usable and we've wanted to re-tile both bathrooms.

We went out of town for 48 hours for Christmas-- just long enough for issues #3-#10 to occur. Ok, in all fairness, we knew something was going on before we left...but we're shocked at how much we're getting ready to have to deal with.

Last weekend when my parents were here, I mentioned to my Dad that our water bill had been really expensive the past few months (like $150!). He did some poking around and said that we must have a leak somewhere and that we really needed to call a plumber. Well, with money being so tight around the holidays, we decided to wait until after the New Year. Yesterday, I received a phone call from my cousin's husband who was watching the dogs and happens to have some plumbing experience-- he asked us to call him back immediately. When we got in touch with him, he let us know that we had a completely busted pipe. He shut off the hot water to the bathroom and told us he'd come over as soon as we got home to show us what was going on...

So, here's what's going on: Yes, the pipe burst, but it has been leaking for a long time. Specifically, this is the hot water pipe for our bathroom off of the kitchen (very unfortunately, it has the only shower in our house). The pipes are in a small utility room underneath the house and the water has not only caused significant damage in that room, but it has also caused damage in the cellar which shares a wall with that room. Insulation is soaked, wood is rotting, the cellar door has mold and mildew all over it. The past few months, we've been noticing that the tile in that bathroom has been loose and have been planning on having it re-tiled. Now we realize that the tiles are loose because the sub-flooring has been absorbing water like a sponge. Until we rip up the floor, there's no way to tell how much damage there is....

Oh, and after dinner last night I turned on the dishwasher and heard a terrible scraping sound. Broken.

I'm not totally freaking out yet. True, this is a crappy situation, but this is why we have Home Insurance. Sure, we'll have to pay a deductible, but they should cover the plumbing, the floor and wall repairs, the tiling, whatever needs to be done. (Looks like new tile in the bathroom may be coming sooner than I thought. I've been wanting a new sink in there, too, so why not go ahead and install one when they tear apart the bathroom?) Our claim adjuster has not called us back yet, but the person we spoke to on the phone even suggested that since that bathroom has the only shower (other bathroom has a tub) it may technically render our house "uninhabitable" and insurance may pay for a hotel. Rob and I both have the week off, so we'll be here as repair men have to come-- as much as I hate dealing with this during a week that's supposed to be relaxing, I think it will all work out.

Oh, and our Home Warranty should cover the dishwasher. We pay a $60 service fee and if they can't fix it, they replace it-- my dad said it's likely we'll get a new one, which would be great. We have a hodge-podge of black & stainless steel appliances-- I'm trying to switch them all to stainless as we need to replace them.

We were warned that buying an older home would not be without its problems-- that has certainly proved to be true this year. Buying this house together was a milestone for us in a year full of big changes. We love this house and can't wait to add to our family in it. While we faced some challenges in our first year living here, I hope that it's nothing compared to the changes that we experience next year.

We're home.

Happy One Year House Anniversary to Us!

P.S. Sorry for the tiny crappy picture-- It was the only one I had handy!

Who is this guy?

Quick Update

Dr. RE's nurse called me back yesterday to give me "the plan", which was essentially the same conversation I had with her Monday. I'm not to take the progesterone prescription that I have-- instead, I'm supposed to wait until CD35. If I haven't gotten my period by then, I need to come into the office where they'll give me a pregnancy test, then a progesterone shot.

I think the nurse already doesn't like me-- while Dr. RE was pleased and impressed by how much I knew about this process and the questions that I asked her, the nurse just seems put off every time I ask a question. She would like for me to blindly follow whatever advice they give me, whether I understand why or not. It bothers me, but I suppose she's just a bit desensitized by having to deal with women who desperately want to get pregnant all day every day.

So, I'll suck it up and do what she said, even though I have a few problems with it.

1) I have not ovulated yet. It's CD25. The lack of a positive OPK, my temps & the progesterone bloodwork proves this. Dr. RE said that she wants me to be ovulating before CD21 (preferably before CD17!). That didn't happen, so what are we waiting for? Obviously, it's still possible for me to ovulate later this cycle, but that brings me to my next point...

2) You want to do a pregnancy test on CD35? Unless I have just been blessed with the second immaculate conception, I'm not sure why we are wasting the time and/or money with this? Last time I checked my biology text book, it was impossible to conceive without ovulating. And just in case this nurse is holding out hope that I may ovulate sometime between now and then, I certainly wouldn't not be far enough along at 8-9dpo (MAX!) to result in a positive pregnancy test.

3) And last, why do I have to come into the office for a pregnancy test and progesterone shot? I have a pregnancy test at home, as well as a Prometrium prescription sitting on my nightstand. If they were monitoring me, I'd have no complaints about having to go in for an ultrasound or whatever... but having to pay the $40 co-pay for things I could do at home really irritates me.

Plus, I have two weeks of vacation time-- CD35 falls on the Saturday before I have to return to work, which means that they would like me to wait until Monday. When we were given two weeks off of work, we were all encouraged to handle any doctor's appointments or personal appointments during this time off. Now what? I'm supposed to make a doctor's appointment on my first day back? I'm not really cool with that. I'm either going to insist on a Saturday appointment or I will ask to come in on CD34.

I'm sorry I'm so cranky... I just believed that seeing the RE would be the end of my long cycles and I'm extremely frustrated that they seem to be content with me having 45-50 day cycles. When I called to let them know that I hadn't ovulated, I felt certain that the day I got my progesterone bloodwork done, they would help me move on. Instead, I'm being told to wait 10 days (for nothing) to go back to the doctor, then an additional 10-15 days to start my period (once I've had the progesterone). We're now looking at mid-late January before we can even start trying again.

Bah Humbug!!