Nope.

This is what I saw in my bathroom this morning:

Ok, well, that's what it should have said.

My dear, sweet, optimistic husband still had high hopes that since we're at cycle day 58 and I still have not gotten my period, I might be pregnant. And despite my accurate understanding of biology and how ovulation works (or doesn't), and my certainty that I'm not pregnant, I took a test this morning. Negative, of course.

I never thought I'd say this, but I wish Rob was right and I was wrong.

Sewing Sunday

I spent most (ok, ALL) of yesterday feeling quite lazy, so I decided to try to be productive today. Other people have been busy having babies and they need gifts!

Abbey is my brother's best friend's baby girl. I made her three monogrammed burp cloths and a pair of reversible baby shoes.

Luke is my mother's friend's son's baby boy. He's also getting three monogrammed burp cloths and a pair of reversible baby shoes.

While I was on a roll, I made a few burp cloth sets to add to my etsy shop.

The first set is Alexander Henry's 2D Zoo in Blue, paired with Michael Miller's Disco Dots:

The second set is Heather Ross' Goldfish fabric. (I plan on pairing it with a coordinating tangerine polka dot by Amy Butler) This is one of my favorite fabrics ever printed-- it's too bad it was discontinued. I have a little of this left I'm saving for a quilt, but I was able to make these with some scraps.

It's Rob's favorite,too. I think you can see why:

Hopefully, I'll have a chance to make a few more things this week!

Chart Update

CD48. 6DPO. CH still dotted. No AF.

So Long, Sophie...

Today we bid farewell to our sweet sweet Sophie.

Back in July, Rob and I traveled to Atlanta to watch his beloved Red Sox play the Braves. It was a scorcher-- almost 100 degrees and no shade at the 2pm game. After the game, as we were driving home on Interstate 20 we passed a dog wandering along the side of the road. This little girl was hot, hungry and miserable. We stopped and picked her up, put her in the back of the car and took her home.

Let me stop and say that Rob and I are both animal lovers-- I think we get it from our parents. My dad has never met a dog he didn't love and Rob's mom used to feed every cat she saw. It's in our blood. After driving up to NC to watch the World Series two years ago, we stopped and picked up a dog on the side of the road and, luckily, got him to a shelter. We have a system now: We pull over, run away from the highway to get the dog away from the road, then Rob takes off his belt and we use it as a leash. Works like a charm.

So, we got pretty attached to her fairly quickly. We couldn't just call her "Dog" so we started calling her Sophie. It just fit. We had every intention of either trying to find her family (dead end-- she wasn't microchipped) or giving her to a new family, we just weren't in any rush. We got her groomed, put her on flea meds and she became part of the family. She was smart-- she knew how to sit and shake and she was already housetrained. She was a great cuddler.

But, as time went by, we started feeling like our house was a little too small for the two of us, the three dogs, and (hopefully) a baby. We knew we had to find another home for her.

We put her up on Petfinder.org some time ago and went on with our lives. Then, a few days ago we got a phone call from the shelter, saying that someone from MS was interested in her and that they wanted to come to town today to see her. At first, I was thrilled that we had found a potential new owner for her. Then I started feeling sad that she might be leaving us.

This morning, I got up and drove her to the shelter. I talked to her the whole way there, trying to explain to her what was happening, as if she would understand. Rob even stopped by after his breakfast meeting for a final goodbye. I feel so guilty when I think about how confused she'll be that we've taken care of her for all of these months, then dropped her off with strangers and never came back.

I know it's for the best-- she's going to have kids to play with and a big yard to run around in, but as our family shrinks from five to four, I'll miss a little of the chaos. Tonight, the house will seem a little too quiet.

My New BFPBs!

Just wanted to give a shout out to my new BFPBs (Big Fat Positive Buddies) who may swing by from The Bump!

A BFPB is a friend who is also trying to get pregnant and supports you along your journey. We are all different ages and come from all over the country and Canada, but we have one thing in common: We all want to get pregnant. We have great families, friends and husbands, but it's comforting to be in the company of women who have empathy for all of the things you're feeling...frustration, anticipation, excitement, joy.

Much love to Amanda, Jen and Mitzi! Good luck!

Remember...

...when I pondered that temp shift? Well, when I entered my temp this morning (hello, 5am), I was greeted with this:

Holy crosshatch! I think I may have finally ovulated, which of course sent me into a panic about whether or not I should have taken that progesterone. (Relaxing just isn't in the cards for me, I think.) I called my amazing nurse this morning and she assured me that it was fine to continue taking the progesterone, as planned. Since progesterone is sometimes given to women to help sustain their pregnancies, taking it would pose no danger if we happen to get lucky this cycle, which is doubtful, but always possible.

Pause

I got my progesterone prescription filled tonight but have hesitated a little when it came time to take it... I keep looking at my chart and wondering if the slight temp rise the past few days means anything. I want it to mean something...but I'm sure it doesn't. I've been so ready to take this medicine to move on to the next cycle...I don't know why I'm pausing now. I guess that even when I'm convinced it's over, somewhere in the back of my mind, I still hoped that I was finally ovulating and that we still had a chance this cycle.

It's time to accept that we're out and that taking this medicine is what will help us move forward. (Seems a bit counter-intuitive...trying to force your body to get your period while you've been hoping to get pregnant.) I hope that it comes quickly, but I guess it really doesn't matter-- at this point, we've already passed the deadline for getting the bloodwork done before my appointment. Nothing can really change between now and then-- I hope I can just settle back for a few weeks, try to relax and look forward to getting to talk to the doctor soon.

Bottoms up.