Baking

Me:
Can you believe that we're having a baby?!

Rob:
I'm so excited thinking about it. Can you turn up the temp in your oven so that it bakes more quickly?

7 Weeks

Week 7! Hard to believe we're over halfway through the first trimester. Here's the update!

Baby is the size of a tic tac this week:

And is starting to look a little more like a baby:

Baking Baby Blakely

"This week your baby's brain is growing at a mind-boggling 100 cells per minute within a see-through skull. If you could peer inside, you'd see those tiny brain cells growing and growing and growing (about as quickly as you feel like yours are shrinking and shrinking and shrinking with your "pregnancy brain"!).

More high points include: Your baby's face is becoming more defined this week. A tiny mouth hole (which will be ready to wail before you know it!), tongue, nostrils and ear indentations are visible. His or her eyes are wide open, but he doesn't have irises (the colored part) yet.

Baby's arm buds are growing. At this point they look more like microscopic ping-pong paddles than arms. Baby's leg buds are also forming and will look like tiny paddles by the end of the week.The umbilical cord—the connection between your baby and the placenta—is now visible.

Your baby is now between 1/3 and 1/4 inch long—about the length of a Tic Tac and about as heavy as an eyelash. While that sounds tiny, he or she is approximately 10,000 times bigger than at conception. Crazy, huh?"

Love at First Sight

I didn't sleep at all last night. I laid awake in bed worrying about what today's appointment would hold for us. I dozed several times, but between my pulse racing and my heart pounding, I really did not get much rest.

We got to the doctor's office and I was quite shaky. Rob tried to distract me and make me laugh, and it worked a few times. We went into our exam room, I hopped up on the table and we waited for what seemed like forever. I was so scared at what we might/might not see that I started to cry as Rob hugged me. It felt like such a defining moment in our lives-- the point where we say "This is really happening!" or we realize that we're right back to where we started from...

Well, I'm happy to say, this is really happening!


Baby Blakely is measuring right on schedule at 6w6d, and our due date is exactly what we thought it would be-- September 14th, 2010.

We saw the beautiful heartbeat-- I didn't get a specific number, but the doctor mentioned that she could see it was over 100. We took a short video -- you might be able to catch a glimpse of it.

We're so happy-- I think that we're both still in shock, a little bit. But it's starting to sink in, and I'm so excited to tell my parents in less than two weeks!! We are so thankful that everything went well today-- Thank you to everyone to who has been sending good thoughts our way!

Jinxed.

Dear Baby Blakely,

It's hard to believe that you've been with us for 6 1/2 weeks! Earlier this week it was hard to tell that you were even in my tummy, but over the past few days, you've made your presence known. Mommy had her fingers crossed that she'd be one of the lucky ones that wouldn't experience morning sickness-- Ha!

Over the past 3 days the (24 hour a day) queasiness has set in. I'm not actually throwing up (yet), but I feel like I'm going to most of the day. I'm wearing my Psi Bands and snacking on crackers every few hours--it seems to offer me some relief. The nausea on top of the fatigue has just about done me in the past few days-- Mommy is going to bed at 8:30pm most nights!

It stinks that you're making Mommy feel so bad, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Every moment is a reminder that you are with us and that you are growing. Daddy & I can't wait to see you on Monday!!

I love you,
Mommy

Six Weeks

It's hard to believe that so much grows and changes in a week, but here we are at Week Six-- the week of the ultrasound, which is six days away (next Monday).

I'm still feeling ok-- sore breasts and really tired, but no real morning sickness to speak of. I've felt slightly queasy when my stomach has been empty, but nothing horrible. Could I be one of the lucky ones who doesn't experience m/s or should I brace myself for it to hit any day now? (I'm hoping it's the former, but I'm guessing it's the latter.)
On to the update!

Baby is the size of this:

But looks like a Sea Monkey, like this:


Baking Baby Blakely

This week starts a period of rapid cellular development for your baby-to-be, who looks like a mini tadpole, with a tiny head and tail. His or her eyes, ears and mouth have begun to form (though they're a little more Discovery Channel "creatures of the sea" documentary than Gerber Baby at this point).

Other exciting milestones include: Your baby's heart is now beating to a regular beat, although it's still too faint to hear.

His or her arm buds are just beginning to, well, bud. They look like teensy swollen bumps at this point. In a few days, they'll resemble itsy-bitsy flippers.

Your baby has grown to ⅛ inch long—about the size of one of the chocolate sprinkles on your last cupcake (and your last ice cream cone, and your last sundae and your last giant cookie ... maybe there is something to those rumors about pregnancy cravings!).

Joy & Guilt

Life is really unfair-- this, I know.

Over the past year, I've read so many BFP posts. I could feel the joy radiating from women who were unbelievably excited that they were pregnant. As I read, I was really happy for them, but I was also very jealous. Tears of happiness (for them) and tears of sadness (for me) were almost always shed. I would find hope in the joy of women who were able to get pregnant, especially after infertility, but I would always wonder, "When will it be my turn? What if it's NEVER my turn?"

But it is my turn.
Over the past week, I've thought a lot about how lucky I am.

I've been thinking about Al, who is going through such a difficult & heartbreaking loss right now. I've been thinking about Colleen who recently went through a similar loss after waiting so long to get pregnant. I've been thinking about Egg, who is so patient and positive, yet yearns for a baby of her own. I've been thinking about TIO who has to think about MRIs in addition to appointments with REs. I've been thinking about Mrs. Lemon Cake who is pregnant for the third time in a year and is desperately hoping that the third time is the charm. I've been thinking about all of the women whose journeys I've been privileged to be a part of.

I still can't believe that 50mg of Clomid was all we needed to get pregnant. That's so amazing & yet so unfair....So many of you have done multiple IUIs or are moving on to IVF. I am so incredibly grateful that we didn't have to take that next step, but I can't forget about all of you that I care about, who DO have to take those steps... I'm feeling guilty that it was so "easy" for us and continues to be so difficult for so many amazing women.

I even feel slightly guilty about the sense of peace I feel about this pregnancy-- For someone who is constantly anxious, this is seemly impossible, but it's true. Yes, I was nervous about my beta blood work, but in my heart, I knew that it would be ok. I know that one week from tomorrow, I'll be full of butterflies as we go to our first ultrasound, but I truly believe that we will see a thriving little baby and a fluttering heartbeat. I know that at 5w5d we are far from being sure that this pregnancy will stick, but I'm trying to enjoy every moment of our miracle and not let the worry of what could be interfere with what is...

I remember how distant I initially felt from bloggers with BFPs-- I would read their posts and feel truly happy for them, but I no longer felt like we really connected as they had triumphed over IF and I had not. I felt their hope, but not their happiness. But now, reading the blogs of all of those women who travel with me through IF is a reminder-- not only where I've been, but where I (possibly) may end up again.

No matter what happens with this pregnancy, please, never let me forget how lucky I am.

Betas, Bagels & Blogiversary

I went back to Dr. RE this morning for my 2nd Beta.
I was so nervous waiting for that phone call...
HCG is growing beautifully today at 1,820!

I guess it's time to start the obligatory weekly updates about what's going on in my belly! Decided to use the updates from 3D Pregnancy instead of The Bump.

Week 5

Baby is about the size of this:
But looks creepy (I mean adorable) like this:
Baking Baby Blakely

Your baby's microscopic heart begins to beat this week—although it won't be detectable with one of those cool Dopplers for a few weeks, so you'll have to wait a little longer to hear that satisfying "whoosh-whoosh" you're so anxious for. Here's what else is under construction:

With the beating of the heart, blood will begin to circulate throughout the body. Your baby's first organ system will be up and running!

The beginnings of the brain; the cardiovascular, nervous and reproductive systems; as well as all other major systems are under way.

Your baby's new digs—the amniotic sac and the placenta (aka the hotel and the restaurant)—are still forming at this point. (Maybe you should send a housewarming gift.)

All that high-speed development and your baby is only 2 millimeters long—about the size of a sesame seed (check one out next time you're chowing down on a bagel—you won't believe how tiny it is!).

So, the next milestone is the ultrasound on the 25th where, hopefully, we'll get to see the heartbeat!!Trying to take it easy and get lots of rest until then.

And finally, Today is my 100th post! Happy Blogiversary to me!