What to do?

I had Liam's 9 month letter prepped and ready to post today (yes, it's over 2 weeks late) but I felt the need to post this instead.

About six weeks ago, I wrote this post, about needing to tell a good friend of mine that I was pregnant with Baby #2. She's been struggling with infertility since before we started TTC. It was hard to tell her I was pregnant with Liam. It was even more difficult to tell her about this baby. I've now had two pregnancies before she's had one. And I can't imagine how difficult that is for her.

This is a friend who I consider to be very close (sorority sister, college roommate, bridesmaid) but not someone that I keep in touch with as often as I’d like—especially over the past several years. I really didn't want to tell her at all, but I didn't want keeping the secret to damage our friendship either, so I decided to keep it short and sweet. I sent this email at the beginning of June:

Hi Hon,

I feel like it’s been ages since we've talked!! Our schedules seem to be opposite and we're always playing phone tag. I hope that things are great in XX and that you get to spend some time at the beach when you travel to XXX with XX. We're going down to a friend's beach house in Panama City over the 4th of July and I can't wait!

We're doing well-- It's really hot here already. I read the other day that it's about 15 degrees hotter than the average for this time of year. Luckily, my parents' neighborhood has a pool & I think we'll be living in it this summer! They're doing great and really enjoying keeping Liam on Tues & Thurs while I work part time. It's a great schedule-- I get a break and get to get out of the house and make a little money, but we aren't paying for childcare and Liam gets to spend time with his grandparents. It's worked out awesome.

Now for the news... I'm pregnant.

As you know, we struggled to get pregnant with Liam and were so happy to finally be successful with the help of our fertility specialist. This baby was a complete surprise. Since we had so much trouble having Liam, we really figured we'd struggle again-- we were not trying to get pregnant, but we were not taking any precautions against it either. Rob's sister Barbara, who delivered Jack about a week before I had Liam, called me one day to tell me that (surprise!) she was pregnant. After we got off the phone, I just had this nagging feeling that I should take a test, based on some of the symptoms she mentioned. I pushed it out of my mind for a few hours, but later, took a test and it was positive. (Sadly, Barbara found out at 14 weeks that the baby had stopped growing around 8 weeks. It's been very hard on her and hard on us.)

Hon, when we were trying to get pregnant with Liam, it just about killed me every time someone announced that they were pregnant. While I couldn't wait to share this news with you, I also know that you guys have been trying to start your family for some time now. We haven't talked in a while & I would love to hear about where you guys are and if you've made any decisions about potentially seeing a fertility specialist? It was a really hard step for Rob and I to take, but it was ultimately, what brought us Liam.

I miss you and think about you often! I'm sorry we're not in touch more, but I would love to hear all about what's going on with you guys.

I love you!

Stef

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I waited. And waited. And waited. I never got a response. I thought, “Maybe she just needs some time to process this and she’ll respond later.”

But a response never came.

I’ve been thinking about her a lot. Saturday morning (over a month later), I sent her a text and said, “Not sure if you got my email and a month or so ago, but I’ve been thinking about you a lot.”

No response. 

I asked Rob what he thought I should do & he thought I should just pick up the phone and call her. So, I did. After I put Liam down for a nap today, with shaky hands, I called her. It rang once, then I was forwarded to voicemail.

It was hard not to cry as I left her a message… “Hey honey, it’s Stef. I’ve tried to get in touch with you a few times over the past month or so, but haven’t been able to reach you—I’m a little worried. If you can, please let me know you’re ok. I love you.”

I realize, as I write this, that I’m being selfish in my need for a response from her. I want her to tell me it’s ok & maybe I want to hear that she forgives me. But maybe it’s not ok. Maybe my pregnancy announcement is the one that finally broke her fragile heart—and as much as I want to make things ok, I can’t. I can't change our circumstances. Perhaps my repeated attempts to make contact are hurting her more and pushing her further away.

I don’t know.

Please help, friends. Do I just stop? Is there something else I can do? I want our friendship to continue…but more importantly, I don’t want to hurt her.  I'm afraid that I already have.

Wordless Wednesday: He shall be called...

Holiday

Heading home today after a wonderful trip to the beach with friends. Had a great time but can't wait to see Liam!

What a fantastic way to celebrate the 4th of July & 20 weeks!

(Pic I snapped from our patio on Friday afternoon)

Anchors Aweigh

It all started with a bed.

For years, I've been drooling over the Pottery Barn Kids catalog & imagining the rooms that I would one day create for my kids. There were so many things that I loved, but I always thought that this bed was perfection...

 I couldn't imagine a more amazing bed for a little boy...among all of the plastic toddler beds and Spongebob bedding, this speedboat bed with details reminiscent of the 1940's is so classic. I wanted it bad, but we would never spend that kind of money on kids' furniture...we just couldn't.

Several weeks ago, my mom bought it for Liam...and when she told me, I burst into tears. Giving is definitely her (and my dad's) love language. They are both unbelievably generous and get such satisfaction from giving people a gift they really want and couldn't purchase themselves.

So with the countdown on until the bed is delivered (in two weeks!), my mom and I have been searching for the perfect paint, furniture & accessories.

Not positive, but I think we've picked a color. (Of course, colors never really look quite accurate on a computer screen, but it's close enough... On my screen, the color is a bit darker than it is in person.)

We purchased this Madras Bedding: 

And this Chenille Border Rug:

And these Fisherman Sconces:

My dad, who is unbelievably amazing at refinishing furniture, is helping me turn this super-cheap craigslist dresser purchase into this crisp white nautical style dresser with a stained wood top:

We found a floor sample of this nightstand (cheap!) and will refinish it to match the dresser:

We have this bookshelf from Ikea that will be painted Navy and tilted on its side-- we'll fill the cubes with (red?) baskets or canvas bins to hold his toys.

 He's getting the Anywhere Chair for Christmas:

We had our rehearsal dinner at a restaurant in Charleston called The Boat House, and as a decoration, we ordered a banner spelling out "Blakely" in nautical flags. It's currently hanging in Rob's office so I don't have a pic, but we'll hang it on the wall. It looks like the flags here:

We're going to remove the wood blinds in the room and install blackout shades, then hang some navy panel curtains with grommets from pegs using rope like this:

And the best thing? I'm currently trying to track down a used (or new & cheap) sail to hang behind his bed. I think I need a minifish sail-- I've got a few sailing enthusiasts looking into it for me.

And that's Liam's new room, which should be coming together very soon!!

The painting will be done next week, the rug should be here in a few days & the bed will be delivered in two weeks. I hope we'll get started on refinishing the furniture in the next few weeks. It may take me a while to find the sail and finish accessorizing the room-- but we hope to have everything done within the next month or two.

To clarify, Liam is obviously not big enough to sleep in this bed yet! We'll be decorating his room as if he was, then setting up the pack n' play for him to sleep in until he's ready to move into the bed (with rails), so that we don't have to buy another crib. I want to move him into his new room several months before the new baby arrives to avoid any potential association with the new baby displacing him. The dresser that we're refinishing will have a changing pad on top, so the room will be just as functional as a nursery, and will hold most of his toys, which is needed as we're losing our extra bedroom where we keep them now.

The "Other" Party

As excited as I am about Liam's 1st birthday party, there are some people who I can guarantee aren't as pumped: Our childless friends.

Sure, goldfish and swimming and plastic buckets are awesome for kids, but I'm quite certain some of the closest members of our gang would rather take a rain check.

So, we'll be having Liam's 1st Birthday Party: The Sequel on the weekend after his birthday with our buddies.

Here's the invite for that party:

(click to enlarge)

This one will be extremely low key-- and I mean that. No decorations, no smash cake, no fuss. I can't make any promises that there won't be any party favors, though.

(Special thanks to the lovely Kate for pinning this idea to her Pinterest board!)

The Party Planning Post

You guys, I am so psyched about Liam's first birthday party. 

I came up with lots of ideas and at first, I thought I was going to do a carnival themed party, but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to save that for a birthday that he'll actually remember and enjoy. (Oh, and I'll be 32 weeks pregnant on his birthday, so I think a party without complicated logistics would be best.) This year, simple is better.

Well, as simple as it can get, if I'm planning it.

After poking around on some kids' party planning websites, Etsy & Pinterest (my new obsession!) I decided on a Goldfish themed pool party. Cute, Liam loves to swim, and we can have the party at my parents' neighborhood pool so that no one has the burden & stress of hosting.

Without further ado, here are his invitations: (click to enlarge):

Stickers for envelopes & napkin rings:

For the decorations, I'll make aqua and orange tissue pom poms & get polka dot ballons: 

Definitely want a few of these:

I've started cutting out my own teal & orange circles to make this garland:

I'll use these to label the food:

Along with aqua and orange tablecloths, plates, napkins & flatware, I want to order some of these:

Liam's Smash Cake will look something like this:

And we'll have cupcakes with these:

I plan on teaching myself to "flood" cookies & if I'm successful, I'd love to make these:

I bought a big stack of these buckets for $1 at Michaels to use for party favors:

I'll use these tags:

I plan on filling them with some fun things like these aqua & orange water bottles (Also $1 at Michaels). I'm considering personalizing each kid's bottle by cutting their name out in vinyl (I can do this with my Cricut) and sticking it to the bottle:

And, I found these fishy pool rings-- at $2.25 each, I plan on putting one in each of the favor buckets, plus throwing a few in the pool for decoration.

Real goldfish are also in the plans for party favors, for kids whose parents who give their blessing to have them as pets. (Yes, I will ask before the party. One mom has already said yes, but I need to check with others.)

I have more ideas, but I'm trying to reign myself in-- the good news is that I already have quite a bit done, and the party is almost 3 months away. If I can just try to work on a few things each week, I'll get everything done in plenty of time. In the meantime, I'm having a great time brainstorming and adding ideas to my Pinterest board  (My username is StefBlakely.) If you're on Pinterest, let me know so I can follow you!

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*Full disclosure*

I know just enough about Photoshop to get me in trouble. I can fairly easily take someone else's design and modify it to be my own. I did not draw this little fishy myself. I "borrowed" it from someone and created backgrounds and layers and text to create my own paper products-- which for someone who has training in Photoshop would probably take a few minutes. For me, it takes hours. I'm proud of the work that I'm teaching myself to do. I just want to mention that I would never sell a design that wasn't entirely my own...but I will gladly use it for my own parties.



...And He's Off!

 

What a difference a week makes!!