Come ON!

Cycle Day 36 and STILL no action. Never have I wanted my period to come so badly. I figured, based on previous months, that I wouldn't go longer than 35 days, but of course I was wrong.

Cycle 1: 33 days
Cycle 2: 40 days
Cycle 3: 34 days
Cycle 4: 31 days
Cycle 5: 36 days and counting

Out of desperation (and pathetic hope) I took a pregnancy test yesterday which was a complete waste of time and money as my chart has made it pretty clear that I didn't even ovulate this cycle. (Last time I checked, it was impossible to get pregnant without ovulating.) Big. Fat. Negative. Surprise, surprise.

After establishing "The Plan" and having something to look forward to, the wait is excruciating... and since I have my appointment to go over everything on Oct 12th, I'm running out of time to get my bloodwork done. I have to get my period, then wait 21 days to have the bloodwork done, then give the lab time to return the results to my doctor-- all in less than a month. AND I DO NOT WANT TO POSTPONE THAT APPOINTMENT! I'm stressed about it which is probably delaying my period, which makes me more stressed, which delays....

Rob and I were talking last night as we tried to fall asleep. He's getting frustrated. As much as I don't want him to feel that way, it was really nice to hear. It's a little isolating to feel like you're the only one to worry. Rob is such a laid back guy that he rarely stresses about things, and he always has the attitude that everything will work out. While he's still sure that everything will be fine, he admitted that this has taken longer than he thought it would and that he's ready for it to happen. We spent some time with our two nieces last weekend (ages 16 and 6 months) and it made both of us long for a baby of our own.

But for now, we wait. Wait for my period to come, wait for the bloodwork to be done, wait for the appointment with the doctor, wait for additional tests to be ordered...wait for a miracle. We wait for our baby.

P.S. No more Zoloft. No more side effect.