This weekend was Samford's Homecoming, so Rob has had to make an appearance at several events. Today, we had to go to the football game so that he could greet some of his prospects. I hate football, but if we have to go, at least we get to sit in the president's box. We talked to quite a few people, including an older gentleman who was a Baptist minister. After introductions and small talk, he looked at me and said, "So, do you have 5 babies at home?"I felt my cheeeks flush & I managed to stutter, "Not yet. We're working on it." ::insert uncomfortable laugh:: Then, as if I needed to defend our childless state, I said, "We just celebrated our one year wedding anniversary." He congratulated us and moved on, but I thought about this exchange long after the conversation.
Certainly, this man meant nothing by his question, but if there's anything that infertility is teaching me, it's that you never know what other people are struggling with. Yet, when a question like this is asked, the onus always falls on us, the troubled ones, to make everyone else feel comfortable with our problems. To hide them.
How would people react if I answered questions like this honestly?
"5 Babies? No mister, we're struggling just to have one. Thanks for the reminder."
I am sorry this man's words hurt you.
ReplyDeletePeople don't mean to be mean and some do think it si easy as pie to get pregnant when for some it is nice.
Sometimes though, you would be surprised at all the people that really do have trouble trying to conceive and they don't talk about it because they are scared.
This community does help tremendously though!
Yeah, that's not fun. I think you handled it really well.
ReplyDeleteI have an answer ready for every time I get that from someone I'm not comfortable sharing with (which is 97% of the people in my life!): "We definitely want kids someday!" Insert cheerful smile and immediate subject change.
I hope you're feeling a better today.
Ugh. People just don't think before they speak. If there's anything I gain from these frustrating 8+ months, I hope it's a sensitivity to the possibilities for pain that innocent remarks can cause.
ReplyDelete