One Doodle That Can't Be Un-did

Every morning, I enter my temps, then at night I enter my Cervical Mucus & Cervical Position. Last night, I had some watery CM & when I entered it into FF, I got a message telling me that it moved my O day from CD28 back to CD24which meant I wasn't 13dpo today-- I was 17dpo.

I had every intention of waiting until Sunday to test, but when my O day changed, I realized that I was already past my usual LP. I debated what to do this morning-- should I wait until Sunday? Was I testing too early? What if my original ovulation date was right? I decided to go ahead—figured it would be negative and I’d get on with my day.

It's so surreal, but I was wrong & I'm in total shock.

I started shaking, then crying. I really wanted to tell Rob in some creative way, but all I could do was run into the bedroom, tell him to wake up, then shove the test in his face. He was totally confused. Had to explain it to him. I think he’s in shock. He had a huge grin on his face and asked me to come cuddle in bed with him for a while. I ended up being soooo late for work today (where I was totally useless anyway).

I already had an appointment scheduled with my RE on Monday (to pick up my Clomid and check my TSH levels), so I’ll get my 1st Beta bloodwork done then. (I called to try to get it done this morning, but the office was closed b/c of the weather.)

We're cautiously very excited. My mom and I had planned a trip together the first weekend in February, so I will tell her then. It's really important to me to get to tell her in person-- this will be my parents' first grandchild. If all goes well, by then I'll be almost 9 weeks and will feel better about telling people. I'm trying to keep it kind of quiet until then, even though I want to tell everyone I know! (So if you know me in real life, please don't tell anyone yet! I would obviously be devestated if my parents heard it from someone other than me.)

Rob made a few calls to his dad and sisters today & we found out that my sister-in-law Barbara is pregnant, too!! I can't believe this-- it looks like our due dates are only about 10 days apart. I'm ecstatic-- thrilled for her and so pleased that I'll have someone to go through this with.

There are so many things that I'm feeling today. I know my life has just changed forever. I am so relieved that all of the next steps we had talked about taking in regards to our fertility can be forgotten about (for now, at least). I feel slightly scared at what's to come. I feel so giddy that this day happened for us.

But most of all, I feel so lucky that I have had the support of the greatest group of women who are scattered all over the world, but draw together to support each other's journey through IF. I only hope that I can continue to be as supportive of these women in the coming months as they have been supportive of me. I know how lucky I am that this happened so "easily" for us & and I know how unfair and long this process has been for so many wonderful women who deserve their day. Obviously, the focus of this blog will shift in the coming weeks, but please know that I'll be just as involved in where you are now as I was before.

I don't know what to expect of the future, but I know I'll have amazing ladies by my side no matter what happens-- good or bad.