Saturday, January 5, 2013

So Grateful.

I am so grateful.

Thank you, everyone, for your kind, supportive and encouraging words.

For those of you who called me strong, brave, graceful & thoughtful-- you have no idea how much I need to hear those words right now.

For those of you who offered love, I need it now more than ever.

For those who had no idea what to say, but took the time to say anything-- thank you so much. I can't even explain how much it means to me when someone says, "I have no idea what to say... I just want to tell you that I'm thinking about you & that I'm here for you." It's more than enough.

The fact that long-time friends & also brand new ones left comments of support for me regarding one of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make... I'm just so grateful.
I'll post information going forward, regarding our progress with this process (as it's appropriate, of course). Officially, we've been legally separated since the week before Thanksgiving. (We actually spent Thanksgiving apart for the first time.) There is no mandatory separation period in our state, so we were able to file for divorce as soon as we made the decision together-- the process was started the first week of Dec and the papers were finished, signed & filed the week before Christmas. 

A judge has been assigned to our case & we're moving into our negotiation period-- this part will be HARD. I keep reminding myself that whatever is best for the boys is what needs to happen. It may not be exactly what I want, or what Rob wants... but we have to attempt to be as selfless as possible.  As we work through our custody & support arrangements, I'm so hopeful that we can work something out that's satisfactory for everyone.  This isn't just a break up-- we can't say goodbye and walk away. We need to be able to get along as we raise our sons-- I'd even like for us to be friends.

We're still living under the same roof (sleeping in the same bed, in fact-- a certain little surprise stole our guest room!) & getting along just fine. As I said in my last post, this was not a rash decision, neither of us were surprised and this was not done in anger-- just the opposite, actually. I think that we both feel some relief in knowing that we're taking the right steps to ensure that everyone is happier in the future.

But it will take some time to get there... our lawyers estimated around 6-8 months to finalize things. That time will be challening for everyone, so I'd love for you to keep us in your thoughts.


  1. You will be in our thoughts now and always. I hope the negotiation period goes well and that everyone feels good about the results. Your boys are very lucky to have parents who want to keep their best interests at the forefront of such a difficult transitions.

    Abidin with you.

  2. Thinking of you all the time and wish we lived closer so I could help somehow! You ARE unbelievably strong!

  3. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. And I agree- in our family's situation, I so appreciate when people are honest and say they don't know what to say, but they let us know they are thinking about us. I know this is going to be an incredibly difficult few months, but I admire how you are putting the boys first and you and R are able to do this amicably and with the same goal.

  4. You are amazing. Seriously. Sending big hugs. I'm here for whatever you need during this time.

  5. I know these next several months are going to be so hard for you. Just know we all love you and are here for you. *hugs*

  6. I'm coming in on this news late. Very sorry to hear. I'm in the don't know what to say camp, except that I wish you strength in these hard times and that there is soon happiness for all of you.