Preparing for Easter (Free Printable!)

We're so ready for Easter!

My etsy shop has been buzzing with activity the past few weeks-- tons of stationary orders & Easter Buckets! I'm happy to say that all of the Easter buckets this season have been shipped, they have arrived at their new homes & the Easter bunny will fill them with treats this Sunday. 

Here's a pic of the last batch that went out the door last Thurs!

Liam's been dressing for Easter the whole month of March-- I love to make him appliqued holiday shirts, but I always seem to wait until the last minute so he doesn't get to wear them for long! (And since his name is usually on them, I can't pass them down to Jack. I need to find someone who has a boy named Liam who's a year younger and give them a great deal on all of these cute shirts.) He actually got a chance to wear his Easter shirt to school several times!

We've been having such a hard time finding pants to fit him lately-- he needs an 18 month in the length in a 9 month in the waist. So, when I made his Easter shirt I decided to making him matching pants & I'm so glad I did-- they were easy to do & they fit him better than any others we own. I'll definitely make him some seersucker pants and some cotton gingham shorts for the summer.

I REALLY wanted to make Jack a matching outfit, but a piece of my sewing software broke and it will take a few weeks (& a chunk of cash) to fix. Next year, buddy. Just want to get it back soon so that I can start on some summer shirts for both of them.

Liam's precious little preppy school offered pictures with live bunnies for Easter and we took advantage of it & had both boys' pics taken in their matching smocked bunny jon jons. 

So sweet-- I can't wait for next year when they're both sitting up, chasing that bunny!

Since Liam's school is closed for Good Friday, I sent a few Easter treats to school with him today:

Inspired by some similar treat bag toppers I'd seen on Pinterest, I made this little fold-over tag in Photoshop. It has the same design on both sides and just needs to be printed, cut and folded in half. I used cellophane treat bags that were about 5" wide-- the same bags that I send out all of my paper etsy orders in. (I get them at Hobby Lobby.) The bags are filled with three powdered sugar donut holes. Easy-peasy.Perfect little treat for daycare, Sunday School, or even from the Easter Bunny. If anyone wants to use these bag toppers, just click below to download the PDF!

Click here to download the printable!

Liam had a nasty virus last week & we had the boys' checkups this week, so I'll give a recap on that soon as well as pics from Easter-- Liam's 2nd & Jack's 1st! We're celebrating with all of my family (about 35-40 adults and kids) at my parents house. Yummy food, impeccably dressed little belles and beaus, an Easter Egg Hunt & lots of fun family time. Can't wait.

Hope you all are well! Happy Easter!

Fast Forward: One Year

One year ago today I found out I was pregnant with Jack.

I was shocked & scared. A week later, I wrote this post, announcing the news. I worried so much throughout my pregnancy... how would I handle two & what if I couldn't love another baby as much as I love Liam?

And then this happened:

And I'd love to say that this was the moment I fell head over heels in love with Jack...but it wasn't.

This was:

It was late on Saturday night, the night after Jack was born. I was by myself-- Rob had gone home to sleep (he had walking pneumonia) and all of my visitors had left. As I held Jack in my arms in the rocking chair in that quiet & dim hospital room, I looked at him and suddenly felt like my heart might burst. I called Rob & sobbed to him about how much I loved Jack, how I couldn't believe that I'd even questioned how I would feel about him, how lucky we were to have two beautiful healthy boys. He told me he'd always known it would be this way.

When I hung up the phone, I grabbed my camera, walked into my hospital bathroom and snapped these pictures. My eyes are swollen, my belly is round, my hair is messy. But, I don't care, because these pictures document the exact moment I fell in love with my second son.

And I've fallen in love with him more and more every day.

I mean, wouldn't you?

Wordless Wednesday: Charmed Life

"It's easier said than done, it's true.
But count your kisses one by one...we're living proof,
We're living in a charmed life."
 ~ Joy Williams

Beyond thankful for my beautiful boys.

An End & A Beginning

Yesterday was the last time I’ll ever nurse Jack. It may be the last time I ever breastfeed, period.

When I look back at my posts about breastfeeding this time last year, my heart aches a bit. As I read over my words, I remember how I was wracked with guilt. Wanting to exclusively breastfeed Liam and not being able to, nearly drove me to a nervous breakdown. I felt like such a failure—once again, it was something my body couldn’t do.

When Jack was born, I decided to breastfeed and formula feed from the beginning—I wanted to take the pressure off of myself that he had to be exclusively breastfed. I figured that if he had formula from day one, I wouldn’t feel guilty about it. It was one of the best things I’ve done.

Without the pressure, I’ve really enjoyed breastfeeding Jack. Since the beginning, I’ve nursed when I wanted to & given a bottle when it was more convenient. I didn’t feel like I was the only one who could feed him, I never had to rush home from an outing in time for a feeding and I never resented having to nurse him. (If I didn’t feel like it, I just didn’t.) And that was good.

Things in the Blakely household have been going well—the boys are amazing. Liam is learning new words, making up funny dances & is such a ham. He’s a sweet and smart little man. (Now, if we could just get rid of these nasty ear infections…!) Jack is smiling, cooing & giggling and he’s thisclose to rolling over for the first time. He’s an easy and content little guy.

Raising two young boys is hard sometimes. We have our days—when Liam’s sick, or Jack’s reflux is acting up; when Liam wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, and Jack hardly slept at all; when we have a million places to go & things to do and the kids (& I) are covered in food and can’t get out of the house… Those days are hard.

But there are other days— days when the kids are both happy & smiling & I’m filled with pride that these two are my sons every time I look at them; days when everyone got 9+ hours of sleep and naps are taken right on schedule; days when the babes look like they stepped out of a Pottery Barn Kids Catalog & I don’t look so bad myself…

…well, lately, those days have seemed hard, too.

Things over the past month or so have just felt difficult—much more difficult than they need to feel. Situations that are a normal part of mothering were leaving me feeling panicked.  I’ve had lots of days where the kids crying in the car sent my heart pounding, left my palms sweaty & required my inner-monologue to run on repeat that “Everyone’s ok. Kids cry. Everyone’s fine. YOU’RE FINE.” Traveling the 35 minutes from my parents’ house to my own (Jack hates the car seat & cries A LOT despite his sleep sheep, Wubbanub & DVD player!) left me feeling like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin…or at least out my car window.

At my six week checkup I let my OB know how I was feeling (the symptoms have gotten worse since then), but told him that I wasn’t ready to quit breastfeeding yet. He told me to call any time I felt ready. I really struggled with making that call, but a few weeks ago, I did it & I got the prescriptions filled last week. 

But I’ve had a really hard time quitting. I slowed down a lot. I was down to nursing him once a day (first thing in the morning) and I cherished those quiet moments connecting with him. When I thought about the fact that this may be our last baby & I may never share that connection again, I got REALLY sad when I thought about stopping. I felt like I was being selfish by quitting breastfeeding so that I could get back on these meds.

I said this to my ob. His response? "The best thing you can do for your baby is not breastfeeding. The best thing you can do for him is to take good care of his mother." (I love that man.) I had heard this a million times, but for some reason, this time it stuck with me when he said it.

It’s time. Time to make myself feel better—to take away some of these feelings. To have more energy, more enthusiasm, more ME in me. It’s time to slow my pulse, dry my hands, and take a few deep breaths.

I’m suffering from depression & anxiety. I need to take care of myself so that I can be the best mother possible to these boys. I want to chase them around the playground, roll around on the floor with them & get them (and me!) outside. I want to enjoy snuggling and loving on them without constantly worrying about when the next crying jag might start. I just want to love them with everything that I have and everything that I am.

So yesterday morning, when Jack stirred, I pulled him into the bed with us and watched him as he nursed himself back to sleep. I watched his soft throat swallow, his eyes flutter, his little hand on my breast… and I soaked it all in, knowing that it would be the last time.

And when he was done, I mourned it for the loss of what it was, but celebrated what it will be… a new beginning for me.

I started my meds today. It’s been three long years since I have been on this combo (Wellbutrin & Ativan)—one that makes me feel at my absolute best... and, I look forward to being the best version of myself again, soon. 

For me & for my boys.

Wordless Wednesday: Announcing...

I FINALLY ordered Jack's birth announcements-- Yeah, he's 3.5 months old. Better late than never...they'll be here sometime next week & will hopefully get mailed immediately!

And for a shot of my big boy, here's Liam observing Ash Wednesday at school today:

I've drafted a real post! With words! Should be up in the next few days.

Wordless Wednesday: Never Grow Up

My sweet baby Jack...

...It's going by so fast.

Keeping the Romance Alive...

(The card I gave Rob for Valentine's Day)

Happy Valentine's Day! 

We had a delicious dinner out while my parents watched the boys tonight-- a much needed time to reconnect. We gave presents: Rob got a massage, I got roses and a gift card, Liam got a singing Elmo and Jack got a new sleep sack. Oh! And we got a rocking Pet Hair Vacuum from my parents because we are up to our elbows in Chloe hair around here and the Dirt Devil isn't cutting it.

Speaking of reconnecting, I've been quite absent in this space lately, especially the past month. I'm not gone for good, life's just been so busy that blogging has had to take a backseat to my other responsibilities. I miss this space though-- especially the support, so I hope to make more time for it. I'm not making a bunch of empty promises about how often I'll be blogging for the time being, but I will tell you that I miss you all and I want to catch up very soon. I've got a lot to talk about-- Jack's three months old now and smiles more than any baby I've ever seen, Liam's talking up a storm, I've been crafting like crazy, I re-opened my etsy shop (see the link on the right side bar!!) and I'm getting ready to quit breastfeeding to go back on my meds. All of these are posts I'd like to write. Promise to fill you in soon.

Love to you all!