Thursday, November 5, 2009

I Just Called To Say...

My mom called later last night to try to smooth things over. It was probably best to give things a few hours to let us both calm down.

She explained that she wasn't trying to tell me to relax because it will get me pregnant, but to try not to worry so much because everything is going to be ok, one way or another. I explained that it feels very condescending when she tells me to "just relax" because it makes it seem like I shouldn't be so focused on trying to get pregnant or that I have some kind of control over the situation.

As we talked, she suggested that maybe she should just listen for now and not offer opinions. I agreed that this would be best. If I'm facing a decision that I need assistance making, I will ask. Otherwise I just want her 100% positive support of the decisions we are making & have already made.

She told me that she wanted me to know that she wants grand kids, just as much as we want children and will support whatever path we have to take to get there. She even offered to help us financially if it gets to a point where we need it (which I'm certainly hoping it won't).

But most importantly, she just called to say she loves me.


  1. Man, oh man. I love the support I get from my Mom, a lot of the time, but I do have to pick and choose when I talk to her about this stuff...the convo often gets emotional. She has also said the "just relaaaax" thing to me (many times!). It makes me more upset. It's hard b/c she had 5 pregnancies. oh, and here's the kicker: I was conceived ON BIRTH CONTROL. So she has this notion that she's passed along crazy-fertile genes. Oh, how I wish. She also did not like the idea of Clomid. which was horrible to hear b/c I was in the midst of taking it. Lovely!

    I feel you on EVERYthing you said below, too. You are not alone! Keep your chin up.

  2. Oh MOTHERS! They mean well, but dangit! If I hear one more time "you have to be healthy first before you can carry a child" or "you have been TTC since January, but physically your body has only been trying for 3 months"!
    Apparently, I am supposed to erase the other 8 months.
    I have to pick and choose what and when to talk to her about IF.
    It is great that she has decided to sit back and JUST offer support.
    It is always helpful to have other women to go through this with!!

  3. Hey, thanks for dropping by my blog!

    Moms are the hardest to talk about IF with. I feel like I'm failing mine and it was so easy for her to get pregnant four times, on demand, and never once miscarried. So while she knows this is really hard for me, she doesn't completely understand. And no one can until they've been down this path.

    It sounds like this conversation with your Mom went well, she knows what you need from her (support not advice). I hope she becomes a great support for you as you go through this.

    Good luck at your first RE appointment!

  4. Yay! Was hoping you'd have a follow-up like this! :)